Funeral and Family

On Monday morning we headed to Arlington, Virginia.  Home of Mimi and Dunka now but for this trip we had Arlington National Cemetery on our minds.   Once we got there, we hung out some then Brad worked out at the gym while Mimi, Dunka and I took the boys to the pool. We tried to make the best of Monday night  but the next day just loomed over us.

Brad was one of the honorary pallbearers for his wonderful friend and comrade, Dan Zerbe.  I thought snapping the camera may be inappropriate so all of these are phone pictures and I even left my phone in the car as precaution too.  So, no specific pictures of the burial or inside.  They also were very structured to respect the family.  Above is the church on base where they held the funeral memorial.  He had a friend speak about him and another buddy from his hometown play the guitar while his girlfriend sang Amazing Grace.  When we walked out of this building we immediately had to go to our cars to start the funeral procession.  As you walked by and glanced to the left you couldn't help but be gripped by Dan’s casket and the American Flag folded perfectly over it being drawn by a horse carriage of black stallions.  Very regal and very honorable but a heart wrenching sight.  There Dan was, our friend, being pulled to his grave. A life ended way too soon.  The pastor spoke of how he would imagine Dan in heaven and it was a great way to be sent of. I know he will be one that Brad will be happy to see in heaven and be reunited with.  I tease Brad and tell him everyone is going to beat Dan up in heaven for putting them through this emotional grief and great loss that we are experiencing on earth.  It is surreal how death just comes out of left field at times and we know Dan did not wish this pain of anyone. 

When we arrived at the church, there were people honoring our fallen friend by standing assembled with flags held high. 

As we drove through the winding streets of Arlington National it is breathtaking how you can see white tombstones as far as your eye can see.  It sounds crazy to think it is breathtaking but I mean in a more humbling way.  It brings you to your knees and makes you give thanks then puts into perspective all we do take for granted while we are still living and breathing.

Here is a quote I found that really relates to this experience. 

There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. -Kenji Miyazawa

Not only must be use the pain and turn it into fuel but what so many friends of Dan feel is to continue his torch he carried in life.  He was exuberant and lived life to the fullest and had a great time doing it.  We were all better people knowing him and want to carry his spirit in our lives. 

Here is one people picture I got.  My friend Kate who moved to Ohio recently.  I was happy to see her pretty face!

While we were at the funeral we experienced an earthquake.  I thought the car I was in was breaking down and didn’t realize what had happened until we parked and got out of the funeral procession and another women announced it was an earthquake.  Brad didn’t feel it at all somehow.  He was walking.  We couldn’t get a hold of Brad’s mom and naive me didn’t put two plus two together.  I thought my cell just didn’t have service at the cemetery but it was everyone freaking out and cell lines were overloaded.  It made Brad worried (which he didn’t tell me until after).  Once we got back to Mimi and the boys she was in the lobby of their 19 floor high rise apartment and she was freaking out! The boys were running around the lobby and banging on the glass.  Turns out experiencing an earthquake on the 19th floor is FREAKY!! She dropped Easton’s food, grabbed Gavin mid dream during his nap and had Bradley clenched to her leg going down five flights of stairs.  Finally she jumped on the elevator to get it over with and to be safe on the ground quicker. Originally she was just thinking “ I wouldn’t want the elevator to stop and be stuck,” but having three crying kids in a stairwell changes your mind quick.  I am so glad they were all safe.  I can’t even imagine how that must have felt feeling the building move and I can’t believe Bradley experienced an earthquake at age 4.  He calls it an “earthquick” and he said “it felt like shivers” and he cried because he was scared there would be another one. 

After things settled, Grammy came over to visit. 
     

Then Mimi made cupcakes because we all needed chocolate therapy after our emotional and traumatic day. 

   

Playing Dunka’s banjo.

In the evening we stopped for pictures before we all split ways.  Brad and I walked to go out to dinner, my mom had to drive home and Mimi, Dunka and the boys all went for a leisurely walk. 
 
























We drove home Wednesday and the trip in general must have worn them out.  All three of the boys only made it to 6:30 at night for bed.  I caught Easton all cozy for night night on the hard kitchen floor.  I guess nothing surprises me with sleep for this one just like nothing surprises me for being fearless for Gavin just like nothing surprises me out of Bradley’s mouth anymore, whether brilliant or backtalk.

What a TRIP! 

Bradley photography, front porch swing and SOWF run

We went out of town from Monday to Wednesday of this week to Arlington, Virginia but all of these pictures are from before Monday, so last week.  I will post about our trip later. 

These days I am seeing a lot more pictures of myself because Bradley asks to take pictures of me and Easton and Gavin.  Now, he is the one behind the camera. 

 

 

Sharing, a constant struggle around here. 

Gavin brings me costumes and says “on” so this is him running around as Batman.  This day was also crazy because he had clogged the toilet with toilet paper and about the same time we couldn’t find his pacifier because it was time for him to take a nap.  You know, that damn faci! Well, we thought for sure he threw it down the toilet so we gave him this faci just to get by for a nap.  We also have to strap him in a chair in his crib sometimes so he wont climb out.  That is the reason his hair is like that from the back of the bouncy seat.   Later, I found the faci on top of my dresser mixed in with my jewelry.  I must have tried to hide it from him and forgotten. 

Bradley cut Gavin out at first.  He is learning the zoom or to step back or closer still.  Funny!

All three of the boys love it when I do this to them and fly them like superhero’s! Gavin and Bradley actually fight for their turns. 

What do you know, we caught Easton sleeping on the floor again!

This day I got my haircut and colored.  I can’t get it to have volume like my hairdresser does but I like it shorter now.  I haven’t had it this short in a very long time. 

Here is Bradley doing homework.  Here it is just coloring but there is harder stuff in the back of the book ;) He acts like a little student and says “Mom, ughhh, I need to do my homework today, can you get my book for me?”

On this particular evening after watering the flowers, the boys asked to go on  my filthy porch swing.  I really do need to hose it off.  Luckily, boys don't care. 

On Saturday, Brad had to do schoolwork for classes he is in this fall semester. 

The boys and I picked up Tabitha and we went to different locations where one of Brad’s prior teammates, Rob Taylor, was doing a 100 mile run through the Fort Bragg/ Moore County area.  He was signed up through the Special Operations Warrior Foundation (SOWF) to do this run in a different state but was held back at home due to the timing of him needing to be here since we lost three of our guys in the helicopter crash.  So, since he had trained forever, he was determined to do it!

 

He set up his own route and started at 7:15 out the front door of his own house and ran 100 miles through the night and into the next day and did it just under the 24 hour mark.  Here we all are at Tabitha’s house waiting for him at one of his check points.  This was mile 90 so after this he had 10 more to go!

Rob is the one facing the camera in the back.  When you are running a marathon you need people to cheer you on so that is just what we all gathered to do.  At this juncture they had raised $19,000 for SOWF but their goal was $30,ooo.  If you are ever looking for a good way to donate SOWF is a charity to believe in.  All of the proceeds go directly to children of and special forces member from any branch that have died or seriously injured in combat.  The money is for their college education and it is estimated with all the surviving children of those who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country is $76 million.  If you are interested in learning more and even better, donating, go to http://www.specialops.org/

Ok, now back to me with the camera for a moment at home.  Here is E being lovely as always!

For these next three Bradley had the camera.  He always catches me either in jammies, no make up or with bummy clothes on or my bra hanging out.  Gotta love my reality!

Tonight I am going to my bible study and Brad is out of town in Wake Forest, NC being one of the teachers/trainers in a military course.  I have to write these things out so I don’t look back later in life and think…”what in the world did I do all the time?”  Besides the obvious of course!

22 months

Three days ago Gavin turned 22 months old.  I can’t believe he is just two months away from turning two in October.  Do I say that every month? ha!

 

This little red rocking chair was given to Bradley from my mom and Gavin loves it.  He chooses this one over other “little people” chairs we have.  He brings it in the house from the back porch and slides it all over the place to take a rest and climb on it. 

  

Some highlights for this month are Gavin’s manners.  Everyone tells us he is very polite and we think so.  He says his please and thank you’s sometimes without us asking which I think is brilliant for this crazy kid.  I am sure he would rather be thinking of what to jump off of next but instead he minds his manners. 

 

We also have caught him smacking his own hand when he does something bad and he says the word “spank” now since he is all to familiar with them unfortunately.  I wish I could say otherwise but when you have two other children to look after, he has to learn the rules quick and things have to be fair. 

  

His very newest thing is he says “ugh-ugh” in place of his “no” or as a substitute for saying that and it means the same thing.  He does the “no” head motion along with it.  The funny part is that he doesn’t really mean NO.  You could be asking him if he wants a cookie or ice cream and we know the answer is YES but he just may like to tease us more. 

He has been wanting to learn songs more and sings “twinkle twinkly little star” and the theme song to Superman! We say, “Gavin, what does Superman say?” and he replies “dun nuh nuh nuh nuh” with much enthusiasm.  I know I totally butchered spelling that out but you know what I mean ;) It could even be Batman’s theme song but there are many superhero’s flying around my house on a daily basis I get them mixed up. 

Some things we need to work on are him throwing food if he’s not wanting to eat it.  He knows how to say  “all done” or “I want down” but he throws his food before that.  I am at the point now where with him throwing food and Bradley complaining about food that I waste so much of it.  I don’t even worry about set meal times anymore.  I just wait until they are starving! It sounds bad but they are more apt to eat then. 

Another thing we have to work on soon is that DAMN “faci.” Yep, he still has it and now it is always referred to with me cursing damn in front of it! It is so much of a crutch and there are no positives about it except it gets him to fall asleep.  See the crutch and see the pacifier dilemma moms go through! Maybe it will finally not have a place in our life once he is ready for a big boy bed and that can be the trade off.  A big boy bed is something that needs to happen soon too. 

This turning two thing is going to be fun! Stick around for the Gavin ride.  I feel like I am just a passenger on his crazy train most days.  Or,  I am the frantic owner of a china store and he is a bull that comes barreling through breaking everything!

Did I mention how much we love you Gavin?!

Well, WE DO ( no matter what) !! That love will never change from 22 months to 22 years old and forever after that.