Funeral and Family

On Monday morning we headed to Arlington, Virginia.  Home of Mimi and Dunka now but for this trip we had Arlington National Cemetery on our minds.   Once we got there, we hung out some then Brad worked out at the gym while Mimi, Dunka and I took the boys to the pool. We tried to make the best of Monday night  but the next day just loomed over us.

Brad was one of the honorary pallbearers for his wonderful friend and comrade, Dan Zerbe.  I thought snapping the camera may be inappropriate so all of these are phone pictures and I even left my phone in the car as precaution too.  So, no specific pictures of the burial or inside.  They also were very structured to respect the family.  Above is the church on base where they held the funeral memorial.  He had a friend speak about him and another buddy from his hometown play the guitar while his girlfriend sang Amazing Grace.  When we walked out of this building we immediately had to go to our cars to start the funeral procession.  As you walked by and glanced to the left you couldn't help but be gripped by Dan’s casket and the American Flag folded perfectly over it being drawn by a horse carriage of black stallions.  Very regal and very honorable but a heart wrenching sight.  There Dan was, our friend, being pulled to his grave. A life ended way too soon.  The pastor spoke of how he would imagine Dan in heaven and it was a great way to be sent of. I know he will be one that Brad will be happy to see in heaven and be reunited with.  I tease Brad and tell him everyone is going to beat Dan up in heaven for putting them through this emotional grief and great loss that we are experiencing on earth.  It is surreal how death just comes out of left field at times and we know Dan did not wish this pain of anyone. 

When we arrived at the church, there were people honoring our fallen friend by standing assembled with flags held high. 

As we drove through the winding streets of Arlington National it is breathtaking how you can see white tombstones as far as your eye can see.  It sounds crazy to think it is breathtaking but I mean in a more humbling way.  It brings you to your knees and makes you give thanks then puts into perspective all we do take for granted while we are still living and breathing.

Here is a quote I found that really relates to this experience. 

There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. -Kenji Miyazawa

Not only must be use the pain and turn it into fuel but what so many friends of Dan feel is to continue his torch he carried in life.  He was exuberant and lived life to the fullest and had a great time doing it.  We were all better people knowing him and want to carry his spirit in our lives. 

Here is one people picture I got.  My friend Kate who moved to Ohio recently.  I was happy to see her pretty face!

While we were at the funeral we experienced an earthquake.  I thought the car I was in was breaking down and didn’t realize what had happened until we parked and got out of the funeral procession and another women announced it was an earthquake.  Brad didn’t feel it at all somehow.  He was walking.  We couldn’t get a hold of Brad’s mom and naive me didn’t put two plus two together.  I thought my cell just didn’t have service at the cemetery but it was everyone freaking out and cell lines were overloaded.  It made Brad worried (which he didn’t tell me until after).  Once we got back to Mimi and the boys she was in the lobby of their 19 floor high rise apartment and she was freaking out! The boys were running around the lobby and banging on the glass.  Turns out experiencing an earthquake on the 19th floor is FREAKY!! She dropped Easton’s food, grabbed Gavin mid dream during his nap and had Bradley clenched to her leg going down five flights of stairs.  Finally she jumped on the elevator to get it over with and to be safe on the ground quicker. Originally she was just thinking “ I wouldn’t want the elevator to stop and be stuck,” but having three crying kids in a stairwell changes your mind quick.  I am so glad they were all safe.  I can’t even imagine how that must have felt feeling the building move and I can’t believe Bradley experienced an earthquake at age 4.  He calls it an “earthquick” and he said “it felt like shivers” and he cried because he was scared there would be another one. 

After things settled, Grammy came over to visit. 
     

Then Mimi made cupcakes because we all needed chocolate therapy after our emotional and traumatic day. 

   

Playing Dunka’s banjo.

In the evening we stopped for pictures before we all split ways.  Brad and I walked to go out to dinner, my mom had to drive home and Mimi, Dunka and the boys all went for a leisurely walk. 
 
























We drove home Wednesday and the trip in general must have worn them out.  All three of the boys only made it to 6:30 at night for bed.  I caught Easton all cozy for night night on the hard kitchen floor.  I guess nothing surprises me with sleep for this one just like nothing surprises me for being fearless for Gavin just like nothing surprises me out of Bradley’s mouth anymore, whether brilliant or backtalk.

What a TRIP!